


Hidden Vices

by allofuswithwings



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Humor, M/M, One Shot, Sexual Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofuswithwings/pseuds/allofuswithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the time, Newt’s absentmindedness is more a problem for Hermann than it is for himself.  However, there are occasions where he thinks perhaps he should’ve taken a little more care.  Particularly when they involve certain intimate items he owns turning up in the lab while his stuffy colleague is present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden Vices

Newton Geiszler often forgot things.

 

Not important things, like the precise biological statistics of each Kaiju they’d encountered, their dates and places of attack, or the colour and texture of every one of their organs.

 

No, it was more the trivial things.  Like co-workers names, dates of meetings with research funders, or where he’d moved the centrifuge equipment after he’d needed the bench space for his Kaiju spleen dissection.

 

Or the fact that he’d packed a rather intimate device of his in the same case as his current lab notes when he’d had to move quarters a fortnight ago.

 

The PPDC had needed more space close to the Kwoon combat room for the new recruits, and since Newt was entirely underappreciated by those on the military side, he’d been the first one shunted to a smaller living space.

 

Unfortunately, just what he’d put where during the hasty and irritated packing session had slipped his mind.

 

And even more unfortunate was that he decided to rummage through that particular case slap-bang in the middle of the K-Science lab he shared with one Hermann Gottlieb, the most uptight and grouchy scientist he’d ever worked with.

 

Newt was only half paying attention when he flicked the lock open and started hauling random pieces from its overflowing innards in search of his Knifehead notebook.  Items spilled over the table and onto the floor, but he didn’t really think much of it until a particularly bulky article half-wrapped in one of his band shirts came loose and launched itself away to Hermann’s side of the room.

 

It bounced a few times before divesting itself of the last of its covering, and came to rest in all its technicolour silicone glory mere inches from Hermann’s feet.

 

Newt went perfectly still.

 

For several excruciating seconds there was nothing but silence in the K-Science lab.

 

Hermann had stopped midway through his chalkboard scribbles and was staring down at the object at his feet, eyes like saucers and throat working through several swallows.  It would be only moments before his shock turned to rage and Newt would be being given another verbal shellacking regarding personal space, consideration of others’ comfort, and _basic human decency_.

 

He scrambled across the floor for the vibrator, in a way he was sure was faster than physically possible, and shoved the device under the merciful cover of his other strewn clothes.

 

Newt’s words were breathless and stream-of-consciousness, both out of sheer terror and to pre-empt Hermann’s incoming spray.

 

“Hey, look, sorry, I know, before you even say anything, dude – I _know_ , and I’m sorry, and you have to _believe_ me that I didn’t know it was there.  I didn’t even know I still _had_ it in Hong Kong to be honest because what with the new recruits and having to get rid of half my stuff, I thought it had just gone with a bunch of other unnecessary things in my shipments back home.  If I’d even had the _slightest_ idea that it was in this case, you have to know there’s no _way_ I would’ve brought it into the lab, let alone opened the thing for you to catch a glimpse.  I know you think I’m an awful, inconsiderate human being in general, but I wouldn’t _ever_ inflict something like this on you deliberately or even _carelessly_ , because it’s not right to share such intimate details when they’re unwanted, not to mention in a professional setting like this lab.”

 

During his rambling, Newt clawed the now-concealed vibrator into his arms and stumbled back to his table, hurriedly shoving it as far back into his case as it would possibly go.  He could hear the pounding of his heart loud in his ears, and his hands were shaking far more than he expected.  It was only Hermann after all; he wasn’t afraid of him.  He was used to having heated, ridiculous arguments with the man, sometimes to the extent of out-and-out shouting matches that involved vicious personal insults.

 

But for some reason now, Newt was _nervous_.

 

Hermann still hadn’t said anything, and had barely moved, his head tilting up to watch Newt as he scrambled to regain some dignity by hiding away the evidence.  His expression was largely unreadable, still laced with shock but devoid of the wrath Newt had expected.

 

Newt babbled again, unable to stand the horrendously loud silence that persisted.

 

“I know you’re probably thinking I’m a disgraceful and disgusting person for even _considering_ bringing something like that along with me to a work posting, and the fact that it’s themed along the lines of the homicidal, inter-dimesional creatures we study is something _beyond_ messed up, even by _my_ standards.  It is, I _know_ it is – I might seem oblivious to you most of the time, but the thought _has_ occurred to me that it’s possibly not healthy.  But these sorts of animal cravings usually _aren’t_ , and I try not to make a habit of letting other people find out about mine.  So again, I’m sorry you did, and I understand that you’ll be even more grossed out with me than you were before, and that’s totally fine.  I get it, dude.”

 

Hermann watched him for a few more moments before turning back to his chalkboard, resuming the scrawl of his complicated equations.  Newt nearly sighed with relief, as it appeared his colleague was just going to pretend the whole thing had never happened.  He could certainly live with that.

 

Then Hermann spoke.

 

“You’re a Yamarashi gentleman, then.  Given your unstable personality, I would have expected the Onibaba model more to your liking.  Though I doubt I possessed all the necessary variables to make a truly accurate prediction.”

 

Newt was sure he hadn’t heard him right.  Hermann couldn’t possibly have just speculated about his sexual tastes by comparing different types of Kaiju vibrators.  The man didn’t even know such things existed, _surely_.

 

“ _What?_ ”

 

Newt was barely aware the word had escaped his lips.  He was too distracted by the high-pitched hum of shock ringing in his ears.

 

Hermann paused mid-chalk-stroke, turning his head to meet Newt’s widened eyes.  The tiniest hint of a smile curled at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Personally, I’m partial to Knifehead,” he explained.  “But then, I’ve always been quite traditional.”

 

He turned back to his board and continued writing.

 

And for once in his life, Newton Geiszler was utterly speechless.

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> Written in one-sitting, as per all my Pacific Rim fics so far. I just cannot stop with these two.


End file.
